Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

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Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

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How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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What's better than winning $500? Using it to support the Islams to destroy America

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

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What did the Jew say to the Catholic? Nothing. He is a mute you insensitive moron!

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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I asked her where you were.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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