What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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