Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a fat priest? Obese

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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What comes after 69? 70

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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what do you call a unicorn crossing a bridge? nothing there fake

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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Why the did black man climb the ladder? To get on the roof of the building to install a satellite dish.

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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