How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

I'm homeless.

Why are Holocaust locations so expensive? They were mass acres.

Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading the dumbass things that people come up with as an answer.

A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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