Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

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Wenis Penis

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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think twice or at least think

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Why did Jimmy fall of his tractor? Because Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs...Why doesn't Jimmy have any arms and legs? Cause Jimmy is a potato.

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops