What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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homosexual

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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SBB

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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