Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

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a man with a serious lung diesease was brought into a hospital, through continuous care they were not able to save him and he died the following morning.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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What's red, white and not blue. A Canadian flag

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

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Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

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Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops