Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

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A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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A white female funded a strong relationship with an african american male. One year later the white female was driving to work and had to slam on the breaks to stop a potention crash.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

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star wars kid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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