Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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The man was driving down the road at an opropriat speed and got t-boned. The women in the other car got out and tried to help the man but the man was already out of the car and call 911

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Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

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My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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