Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

Ich bin nicht der Anführer

Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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