How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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What's flaming and has wheels? A firepit. I lied about the wheels.

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

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What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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