Do you want to hear a joke? No.

How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

Ich bin nicht der Anführer

Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

A dead guy walks into a grave.

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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