- Anti Joke

Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

What's red and can sing? Elmo

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

what did the man say to the other man? hey

What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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