How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

TOP KEK

Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

Why is adam jackson so black when his parents are white? their was alot of black dick up their during the pregnency. (once you go black, you NEVER go back!)

What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

Knock Knock! F*ck off

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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