Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

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Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

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Why did the soccer player miss practice? He got shot in the face.

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The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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a man walks into a bar with a monkey i forgot the rest of the joke your moms a whore

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Q: What can a black man do that a llama can't? A: Walk

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Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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what did jacob say to coach a joke

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating? Many things could be worse than that, from the less severe e.g. Finding half a worm in the apple you're eating to the more severe, such as the total collapse of civilization.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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