I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

Why did the car stop To buy drugs

What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

A fat guy!

A: Do you like it B: No

Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

Michael Brown

Pickles

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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