Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

what's worse than 10 dead babies in one trash can? 1 baby in ten trash cans

A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

Dad: hi son Kid: (looks sad and looks at the ground) Dad: what's wrong son. Kid:I raped a girl. Dad:Who? Did you rape son! Kid:mom.

How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

A man walks into a doctors office He has AIDS

The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

Why can't Ray Charles see? Because he's dead.

Two friends were running late for their school gathering. As they arrived the train station, one friend said 'Quick, we need to catch the train!' The other replied, 'Can't we just get in it?'

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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