How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

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Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? A. yeah, that's a really big step, quitting smoking is tough

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Yo mom as so dumb.... That she has a low IQ

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

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What's black and white and red all over? An equality parade with a nearby homicide

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Why did the boy play Xbox? Because its a quality source of entertainment

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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Don't make jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off a watchtower.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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