the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I like touching my boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

rarw

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops