Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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