Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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A young baby died.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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