A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

What do you put your key on? A key chain.

What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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