How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

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person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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A black guy , a white guy and a jew walk into a resturaunt They are offered the special.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops