Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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god sent down his only son, " his only son." so in gods eyes we are a bunch of girls.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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