Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

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A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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