- Anti Joke

A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

how did the man with just a head hide the fact that he murdered someone? im not sure but this seems highly untrue as someone could not kill someone with just their head.

When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

Helena: Can u get me a pencil? Me: Sure. Me: Mr. Brandmeyer can u give me a pencil? Mr. Brandmeyer: Why? Me: I don't know. That's what Helena said.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer...and the other is a watermelon.

How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

Mom, how do you make babies? When a daddy and mommy love each other very much... They play with trains and tunnels!(Yay!)

nolan is gay

What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Someone else's cheese.

Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops