Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

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What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

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Gustavo Andrade

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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Joe:Hi Steve how was your day? Steve:Fine why do you ask? Joe:Because I am gay. Steve:Well if you are so happy tell your sister.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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A black man walks into a bar. He paid his tab and couldn't have been more polite.

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Canadians

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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