What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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There were three blondes hanging off a freezing cold helicopter. A burnette, a red head, and a blonde. The redhead's hands were getting cold so she let go so she could blow on them to keep them warm. She fell off the helicopter and down the cliff. A little later, the burnette did the same thing, i mean their hands were cold. But the blode then said " guys, your doing it wrong. You have to do it like this." She blew one hand at a time, " not like this: she showed them how they did it and fell off too.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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What do you call a man that paints on a his face and wears big shoes? Lady Gaga.

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Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

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Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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why did the white guy go to a black mans yard sale? to get his stuff back

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

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What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

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Two elephants in a bathtub, one says, "Pass the soap." The other one says, "No soap. Radio?"

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive today? WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY!

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops