A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The moment where Perfect Cell returns declaring he has become "even more perfect" There is no level above perfect :P But sure Cell, strive to improve further on your "perfection", oh he is dead nevermind. Still my favorite character, narcissist, with a touch of class, and a sadistic personality, what more can you wish for?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than failing a test Drowning

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn’t have any arms. like your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops