Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

A hooker walks into a hospital. Only to find out that she has aids.

Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

On a scale of 1 to 10, 6 being the highest how confused are you?

what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The loss of originality in anti joke formats. And hypocrisy.

Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

Why did the boy throw butter out the window? To test the principles of gravity.

So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...