Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

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What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops