A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

A jew enters a mall.

What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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