How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

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Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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