How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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Ily bae

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why was the black man on the bus? cause he needed to get to work

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding the holocaust? A worm

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"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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Watch brand new car videos at carvideos website

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

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how do you save a black man ... u don't

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why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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What's worse then running out of toilet paper? Getting shot

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Why does Timmy Teblow love penis? Logan Cole made him do it.

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops