If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for x-mas a bike

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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