Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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I asked the librarian where to find a specific book. She told me where it was.

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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I was watching Fox news.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Your mom is over the average weight for a person of here height and age.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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Skrillex.

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Roses are blue Colton is gay

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How can you tell if a duck is quaking? Hear it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops