A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

Why cant Helen Keller drive? ......because women cant drive(:

What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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