Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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A Jew and a German meet by chance in a bar. They exchange pleasantries and order drinks. At the end of the evening they leave, having made a friend.

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Police officer Police officer who? Police officer your whole family died in a car wreck last night.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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Q.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.Finding seventeen worms in your apple.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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Where's my baby??

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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What do you call a Mexican that is jumping off a building? A suicidal jumper!

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What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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