Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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Badabing.

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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Yo momma so stupid, she's stupider than this joke.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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You know whats worse than finding a fly in your soup? 9/11

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SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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Man, It's so hot in here that the horses name is friday.

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A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

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What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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What Do you call two black guys on a bike? A two person bike

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I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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