anti-joke.ru - russian style

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Why do women live longer? Because they work weaker.

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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Beka has AIDS

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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