You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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roses are green, violets are yellow, I am a hybridizer.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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What's funny about anti-humor? Nothing.

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

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In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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Why did the blonde kid that was really gay He got a bad case of HIV

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

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I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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