What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

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What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

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Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

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Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

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Warning: Legit Joke Below What is the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? Only one can raise a child.

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What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

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Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

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pee

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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