Did you know that in Africa, every 60 seconds... A minute passes. So sad

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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catlin: hi Thomas: shut up bich 12 assssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssl;

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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What's in a glass and drinky? A drink

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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