I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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Justin Beiber

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

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Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

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2 gay men walked into a bar, The next day they want back to the bar, They went back on the third day but only 1 man came back out and he was in tears, This was because the other man had a cardiac arrest and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops