''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

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What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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ring around the rosie ... your dead

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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Your mom is so poor that her boobs are real.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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