A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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well now

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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