What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

they told me not to write here but i did

how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

Tony Soprano walks into a diner

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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