What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jew and a Boy-scout A: Boy-scouts come back from camp

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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What's worse than getting a bruise? AIDS.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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Homosexualism is so gay man

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7.? Well 7 has suffered a tramatic brain injury, and has a tendancy to brutally attack anyone he comes in contact with. The whole situation is unfortunate.

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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