How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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What do you call a blonde on anti-joke? Fairly paranoid because of the typical blonde stereotype.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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they're dead. idiot.

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

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Justin Beiber

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What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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How do you get a black man out of his house? you ring the doorbell.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game and wanted to play along.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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I hate it when I press submit, and I forgot to finish the jo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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