What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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