My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats green and slimy? green slim

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +4

YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Rudolph poop while flying over Chicago? Actually, he had to go since trip started, and that's just where it happened to land.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops